This Saturday, I met some friends from college in New York City for a
little reunion of binge drinking, bar hopping, and late night activity. Luckily I had a friend’s apartment to stay at
so I didn’t have to drunkenly take the train home. In taking the afternoon train home the next
day, I had an idea for a witty ice breaker inspired by Narcolepsy, a track from the self-titled album by Third Eye Blind
(my favorite band).
There was a cute girl in front
of me sitting by herself. I said “I’m
sorry to bother you, but you wouldn’t happen to be getting off at Croton Harmon
would you?” “No, I’m not. Why do you ask?” she replied. “Well, I didn’t take my medication last night
because I knew I would be doing a lot of drinking. I was wondering if you could wake me at
Croton Harmon should I fall asleep…I have narcolepsy.” This inspired a moderate amount of sympathy
and curiosity within her. She
intelligently suggested letting the conductor know just in case but I realized
Croton Harmon was the last stop so they would’ve made me get off. She asked me some questions but I played it
off like I don’t like to blab about it.
Then we made some small talk and I realized she had a boyfriend. No need to force anything after that
information is revealed.
I know what you’re thinking
(especially if you know me personally) “Dude…you’re an idiot.” But before you
let that thought permanently resonate, consider the possibilities. Since you are pretending to have narcolepsy
(sounds messed up now that I think about it), you have the option to talk and
immediately stop talking if you should so choose. Let’s say you’re sitting next to her and
she’s not quite into you or she’s really weird/has an annoying laugh/has a
boyfriend…you could just pretend to fall asleep whenever you want. On the flipside, if all goes well you may get
the opportunity to see her again. After
all, narcolepsy is the uncontrollable desire to sleep; unless you are
medicated.
But before blurting out you have a sleep disorder on a train to a girl
you want to pork, consider a few factors.
The train shouldn’t be too crowded because someone could be a doctor and
embarrass you. You need to be traveling
alone and so does she…unless you’re confident in your ability to be equally
interested in her friend(s). You may
also want to skim the Wikipedia page on narcolepsy in case she happened to do a
research project on the subject in grade school. Then finally, be yourself and
be normal. She needs to get over the
fact that you have this condition enough to want to get to know you through an
engaging conversation. Should dating
come of this icebreaker, she should be cool enough to drop it because though it
is a lie; the lie was intended for finding happiness.
This idea leaves me wondering. Is
there really a perfect icebreaker for every specific scenario, setting, and
person? What opportunities have a missed
and which will lead to something great? Maybe a real life How I Met Your Mother story.
That
concludes my first blog post ever.
